Finding Hope in the Midst of Miscarriage
I know what you are thinking how can the words hope and miscarriage be in the same sentence. But I will tell you from experience there is hope after a miscarriage, there is a rainbow after every storm. Today I will be sharing my miscarriage story and how I found hope after it happened, I do want to warn you this may trigger you so please read this blog when you are ready.
I had what you call a Missed Miscarriage, if you don’t know what that means—it’s basically having a miscarriage with no signs or symptoms. This was my very first pregnancy and we actually conceived on the very first try. Everything was all so new to me, I knew miscarriage was a possibility, but I thought there would be no issues (which having a miscarriage with your first pregnancy is quite common). During this pregnancy I felt completely fine and had no bleeding, one thing I did notice was symptoms I had experienced prior had gone away. I didn’t know what had happened until I had my 8-week ultrasound, baby measured at 6 weeks gestation and no heartbeat. I remember feeling numb during the ultrasound I knew something was wrong and the ultrasound tech didn’t say a word the entire time.
I remember waiting in a chair to speak to my doctor, when the couple next to us was holding ultrasound pictures and smiling from ear to ear. Here I was cold, with no ultrasound pictures—nothing but frantic worry. When finally talking to the doctor she told me it was very likely I was having a miscarriage but there could be a chance the baby was conceived later than I thought. She scheduled me to have another ultrasound in a week to see the growth, she told me the baby should grow and heartbeat should be there by 7 weeks gestation. I held on to that hope and prayed continuously. A week had passed, and I was ready to see what my fate was, I get the ultrasound, and nothing has changed—I also had no bleeding and felt fine. It was confirmed I was having a missed miscarriage; my options were to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally or schedule a DNC. I couldn’t bear the thought of a DNC, so I waited naturally, and it happened about a week later.
How was I feeling?
Awful. Ashamed. Rejected. Incomplete. Very Sad. This was one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through and a very dark time in my life. Grieving this little baby took some time, I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. God and I had some talks that is for sure, but about a month after I felt like I was in a good place with the Lord. It wasn’t easy though, I had to deal with my grief, I had to learn this wasn’t punishment, I had to re-discover how much God loved me and how He was with me this entire time.
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."-Romans 8:28
- God promises that He is with you in your darkest valley--Psalm 23, 121
- Your tears matter to God, He keeps track of each tear you cry--Psalm 56:8
- Trust Him to carry you when you have no strength--Deuteronomy 33:27
HOPE.
Here is where I found hope, only in Christ Jesus. I learned to have faith—stronger faith and to trust God with my trials, trust Him with my desire to have a child and trust His way. Doing this was not overnight and it took a lot of discipline, but I highly recommend you start trusting God with your brokenness—he knows your hurt and He will come through. Take it one day at a time, one prayer at a time.
"...my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, "My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the Lord. "Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."-Lamentations 3:17-26
The Ending.
So how does this story end? Well, if you have read the About Me section on Brave Little Lamb you know there is a happy ending! After the miscarriage, once I got my cycle back, we started trying again. I luckily got pregnant again on the 2nd cycle with my wonderful son, Eli. He is our little rainbow baby and so full of life—I thank God every day for him.
In the moment of miscarriage, it feels like time is not moving at all and everyone around you is announcing their pregnancies. It feels like your time will never come but trust me, IT WILL. Often, this is how infertility feels or even just struggling to get pregnant—maybe it’s taking longer than you imagined or hope it would. In these moments, take heart that God will come through at the perfect and right time, He sees you + your hurt, hears your prayers and He is near to you.
- Cling to God in these difficult times, pray whenever you have feelings of hurt/brokenness.
- Read the Word when you feel discouraged.
- Talk to someone when you feel alone, I know more women who have had a miscarriage than those who haven't.
- Serve those around you—that always distracted me from my own problems and it made me feel better.
Do you feel alone? Do you want to talk to someone? Do you need prayer?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, please feel free to email me. I would love to pray over you and talk you through this difficult time.
When I was going through my miscarriage I felt very alone. I actually submitted a prayer request through a local radio station on their website and someone on their prayer team sent me an email with such an encouraging message. I want to do the same for you, if I have the opportunity.
Email: abbyepatton@outlook.com
Want to share your miscarriage or infertility story to bring hope + encouragement to others?
- I would be happy to feature you on an upcoming blog post about miscarriage or infertility. *Blog experience preferred but not necessary.
- Email, press@bravelittlelamb and we will get back to you regarding due date and other details.
- This is not a paid blog, just simply to help and encourage moms + want-to-be moms with your story! However, we will be giving you special discount at our store for your kindness + bravely sharing your unique story.
